Dayna Macy

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Both/And...Either/Or

I was in my local market the other day and saw a display case filled with raw foods from restaurateur Roxanne Klein, whose former restaurant, Roxanne's, brought gourmet raw food to the Bay Area (yes, there is such a thing, though it involves a lot of chewing). I saw tiny box of organic, sprouted almonds, four ounces for nine dollars. I could imagine crunching them, snapping the outer layer while chewing their cream like inner sweetness. I wanted them.Nine dollars is a lot of money. What, I asked myself, could I put back on the shelf in exchange for these almonds? I'm lucky, I had enough money to buy everything in my basket, but something more was at stake. As I get older, I wrestle more with the "I want it all and I want it now" syndrome -- (as in, yes, maybe I ate two dozen olives at dinner but I also want that chocolate for dessert, or, yes, I already own three pairs of black pumps but these are beautiful, etc.)There's something not quite wholesome in wanting it all and wanting it now  despite what one might read in glossy magazines. Wanting it all right now is the mark of adolescence. Making choices is being an adult.  It's good to make choices, because what we choose, in the end, just might matter more.I returned the Aidell's sausage, and brought my almonds to the checkout counter. They were as delicious as I imagined.