A story on the front page of today’s New York Time perfectly captured my current angst. Obama is ahead, don’t jinx it by being positive  he’ll win.

Like the person desribed in the lede, I obsessively follow the polls. I create all different electoral scenarios. In pretty much all of them, Obama wins. But, as this person also said:

“I have this sense of impending doom; we’ve had a couple of elections stolen already. The only thing worse than losing is to think that you’re going to win and then lose.”

During the 2004 election, I went to bed thinking John Kerry won. I know this election is entirely different — we now have a  charismatic  nominee, and Obama’s polls, in so many swing states, are so far ahead. But I woke up on November 5, 2004, deeply depressed, and very pessimistic about the state of our democracy and the future of our county.

I can’t bare living through that again. I can’t bare the thought that an angry, entitled petty demigogue and his Lady Macbeth (though not as smart) running mate might possibly win. if that happened, we’re all doomed.

And that’s not the full extent of my anxiety. If Obama wins, I’m terrified he’d be a target for some crazy person who thinks we’re going to hell because a black man is president.

So until November 4, I’ll keep obsessively checking the polling data. And close my eyes and pray that when I wake up on November 5 (or even better, before going to sleep on November 4), our next President will be Barack Hussein Obama.