Kill the Crab Already!
I was buying some fish from my local fishmonger, when I overheard the woman in front of me say to the man behind the counter…
“So, how do I kill a crab?” she asks.
“Boil it,” he says.
“Won’t that be painful?”
“I don’t know.”
“What’s the most humane way to kill it?”
“I can whack it on the head — instant death,” he says helpfully.
“Oh Lord, no!” she mutters, then asks, “can I freeze it?”
“I wouldn’t,” he replies.
“What am I going to do?” she wails, looking seriously distressed.
“Become a vegetarian?” I venture tentatively.
She looks at me, her eyes narrow. I think I’ve offended her.
Then she says, “I got it! My husband will kill it!”
She picks up her crab and leaves.
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