Kill the Crab Already!

February 15th, 2007 — 6:33pm

I was buying some fish from my local fishmonger, when I overheard the woman in front of me say to the man behind the counter…

“So, how do I kill a crab?” she asks.
“Boil it,” he says.

“Won’t that be painful?”

“I don’t know.”

“What’s the most humane way to kill it?”

“I can whack it on the head — instant death,” he says helpfully.
“Oh Lord, no!” she mutters, then asks, “can I freeze it?”
“I wouldn’t,” he replies.

“What am I going to do?” she wails, looking seriously distressed.

“Become a vegetarian?” I venture tentatively.
She looks at me, her eyes narrow. I think I’ve offended her.

Then she says, “I got it! My husband will kill it!”

She picks up her crab and leaves.

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